The Beauty Girls # 5

Week Two: Gorbachev’s Forehead (cont’d)

On Thursday we learn massage. We are licensed to massage only from the shoulders up. The massage routine we learn is one the Institute has standardized and it’s nice. I learned massage from the yoga center, Kripalu, two decades ago and this is very similar. I feel comfortable with this and it is healing and gentle and rhythmic. I feel I am good at it.

            On Friday we do our first mask. The mask is “Moor Mud,” supposedly from the moors of Transylvania or somewhere and theoretically has great restorative powers. It is dark and thick and I get the shit everywhere. I call it Petrified Donkey Dung and am not real sure I want it on my face. This will take some practice.

            It is Friday afternoon. 60 hours down—540 to go. But who’s counting?

            On the weekend, I experiment by making my own beauty “products” at home, even though we are warned to never do this. I, of course, am defiant and start mixing up all kinds of toners and masks in my kitchen. I am having a ball putting various concoctions on my face. My own all-natural line of beauty products. My favorite invention is:

Cleansing Kitchen Mask

2 Green Tea Bags

½ C Oats

1 t Baking Soda

1 T Honey

½ Avocado, mashed

1 egg

1 T Plain Yogurt

            Open the tea bags and let steep in a little warm water to cover. Combine everything else together and pour in enough Green Tea to make a mush. Apply immediately to clean skin and leave on for 10 to 15 minutes. Rinse off with warm water. Do not lie down with this mask on anyplace where there may be ants.

            The milk from the oats contains salicylic acid to soothe the skin, and the baking soda leaves your skin silky smooth. The Cleansing Kitchen Mask gives the skin a good dose of vitamins, proteins, antioxidants, lecithin and essential fatty acids. You can eat the rest.

            That weekend, I get the fabulous idea to try putting pomegranate on my face. Fruit acids are all the “industry buzz,” and pomegranate in particular. I grind up fresh pomegranate seeds in my food processor. I apply to my face and leave on for 15 minutes. I rinse. It does not come off. My face is stained a rich Port Wine color that will not wash off. My entire face looks like Mikhail Gorbachev’s forehead. It lasts for twenty-four hours. I decide to leave the chemistry to the pros.

~from The Beauty Girls by Carol Leonard, 2010

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